Journal

Life is short. It doesn’t feel like it when you are little. Summer stretches out and getting from one grade to the next takes forever! Then as we get older, the days, weeks, months and years seem to pass by with such speed that it’s easy to forget how old you are. We can’t slow down time, but we can be more deliberate about how we spend it. Do you love your job or where you spend the majority of your time? Do you get excited about things on your weekly schedule? Do you wake up feeling motivated to start your day? Do you go to bed feeling satisfied and grateful? And the big one; Are you feeling inspired? If you read those questions, shook your head, and thought - “no one feels that way”, or “definitely not”, or maybe “I wish that was my reality”, I’m here to tell you that it can be. You’ve simply lost your sense of direction, your internal compass is broken and you’ve gone on autopilot. You are not alone in this, the majority of our population live life in this way, a sad but true fact. You have the answers inside. Who you truly are and what sets your soul on fire lives inside of you. Maybe it’s buried deep underneath all the shoulds and beliefs about success and worthiness, fears and pain, but that spark that is You, it’s there, it’s in your bones. “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Mary Oliver

As a psychotherapist I’ve spent the past 20 years working with trauma. I’ve studied and learned from the best, then explored new ways of healing, which led to developing my own modality- Embodied Equine Psychotherapy. I started my career treating addiction, working with both inner city youth in LA and the rich and famous in Malibu. What became so abundantly clear, was that the opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety, it’s connection. As humans we are herd animals, just like horses. But we have moved away from this way of living, of being, and in doing so, we have a society drowning in anxiety and depression. A few years back I was auditing a clinic taught by a big name eventer. One of the horses was refusing often and finally just planted his feet. He was done, he didn’t want to move. The clinician had the rider kick harder, then add the crop. It took everything in me not to run out there and tell him to stop. This was NOT a horse issue, the teenager piloting this gelding around was scared. Every time she pointed him towards a fence, she kicked him on but I could feel the “no” inside of her, and so could the horse. The night after that clinic, I vowed to do what I could to prevent this situation from ever happening again. A month later I launched The REAL Equestrian. R- Relationship E- Effectiveness A- Authenticity L- Leadership I have yet to meet a human who hasn’t experienced a trauma, but I’ve met many who’ve said they haven’t. Although when I explain the definition of trauma - the lasting emotional response that often results from living through a distressing event, they realize that they have had at least a few of those experiences. What often happens as the result of trauma, and honestly, as a result of being raised in a society where we value intellect over emotion, is that we become disconnected from our bodies. Which means, we are not aware of the sensations, the way our body speaks to us, we have shut that down. BUT!!! Here lies the big problem. Those physical sensations may not be tended to by us, but they are heard loud and clear by our horses. So while the teenager was kicking on, her body was saying stop, and that’s what the horse responded to. The other big piece is the inability to truly connect with our horses (and other humans). How could we, if we are disconnected from ourselves? Connection may be the answer. But it has to start with a deep dive into your own being. It has to start with authenticity. The REAL Equestrian is about getting real. Having the tough and important conversations. It’s about building healing and trusting relationships within the barn walls and out in the world. It’s about fairness to the horses, about taking responsibility for what we bring into the tack. It’s about leading from inspiration rather than intimidation, and letting down the walls, asking for help. I work with both competitors and non competitive riders, but it’s never just about winning, it’s about finding yourself, and what truly matters to you… it’s about loving who you are both in and out of the tack. 

It’s been a year. A year without your dark wise eyes, a year without hour long butt scratches. It’s been a year without your kindness, a year without your silent strength. It’s been a year since you led the herd, a year since you came to the fence, gently asking for treats. I whole year has gone by without you, but not a day, without you in my heart. It’s also been a year since you felt pain, a year since you struggled to walk. It’s been year since daily medication, a year since you couldn’t get back up. You beautiful, big souled Thoroughbred, you deserved more. Of all the gifts you brought to me, the biggest gift I could give in return, was to let you go. ~ In memory of Daiwik, July 10, 2009- July 10, 2019 

This is OTTB, Coach Casey, aka Snuggleberry with his new partner Ioana. We rarely know what kind of life horses have had at the track and before they become ours, just like we often have no idea what people have been through. Humans, animals, we all have a past. ​In meeting new people or new animals it's important to remember this, and it is imperative that we don't make assumptions. Practice staying soft, practice patience. Invite connection and work on staying open when you are met with defensiveness. ​ Snuggleberry was laying down napping when we arrived to the barn. This is the most volnurable position a horse can be found in. Notice Ioana’s bellybutton turned away and eyes gently turned down. Her hand slowly reached out to offer a hello and an invitation to connect. My guess is this guy was treated with a lot of kindness and respect at the track, as he welcomes humans into his space. The world can harden us if we let it, but it can also create the sweetest moments of connection. Let yourself be moved, be touched. Slow down and find the beauty and awe in every day experiences. No matter your past, make today the day you choose connection, make today the day you forgive and move on. If you need support around this, we are here, and so are many others. In the infamous words of Ram Das “we’re all just walking each other home”

Riding fear is real and more common than most people think. You would be amazed at how many people I work with that haven’t admitted to anyone that they are often scared. Trainers, competitors, weekend trail riders, doesn’t matter, it can happen to anyone. Having a bit of fear is good, after all, we are climbing onto of a 1000 pound animal. The problem is when the fear gets so big that it gets to make decisions for you. Maybe it convinces you to stay out of the saddle, maybe it just causes a death grip on the reins. No matter how the fear shows up, it can become a major problem and take the joy out of your horse time. How many times have you heard someone say, “get over it and get back on”, or something like that? The idea most people have is that we have to push the fear away and just get over it. This is wrong on so many levels. As a therapist I specialize in trauma where the goal is to feel safe in their bodies and secure in the world. How we get there is through allowing physical sensations to arise and properly respond to them. Our bodies are constantly speaking to us; an example would be your stomach signaling that you are hungry. The better in tune we get with our bodies, the quicker we can respond to our own needs. Pushing feelings away does not make them go away. I will say this again, PUSHING FEELINGS AWAY DOES NOT MAKE THEM GO AWAY. In my work with equestrians I help them get more in touch with their emotional world, and then give them tools to face whatever arises. This is not necessarily easy, but it sure makes a difference in how they do life. Is 2019 the year you decide to dig deeper, and do something really good for yourself? Contact us to book clinics and one on one sessions.